Success is Succeeding
In the December/January issue of Moonshine Ink I wrote about struggle — suggesting that without it, one cannot contact victory, i.e., success. Now we will explore what success look like, and how we can get better at attaining it.
My life’s experience has shown that success is fleeting. Complete a challenging project, and a new project comes right on its heels to present a new set of challenges. Work through a relationship conflict only to have another difficult issue give us something else to suffer through.
And even in those occasions when I’ve found myself in a “successful place,” it’s not long before my idea of success changes and turns toward something new. Success, in this way, is never a final destination but an ongoing work in progress. A thing that takes practice.
Someone who is good at succeeding, most often is simply someone who has put in the practice time, learned what is important to them, and gotten good at getting there. They are sensitive to, and appreciate, the signs that show them they are going in the right direction. Equally, this person observes when a choice they make leads them away from their definition of success.
Thus, either experience is succeeding — because it leads them toward their true path.
I often say that developing a practice of succeeding begins with introspection. For many of us, this may be the hardest step. Why? Because introspection is where we must contact the struggle we are living with so we may expose the avoidance behavior that is masking our values.
Maybe we avoid opportunities to act upon our desire to move up from our current position at work. We fear the risk involved because the move up will expose us to greater scrutiny, and to our inner voice that says, “I’m not qualified.”
But this type of inner voice is not a path to success. No, this type of inner voice represents the unfortunate human tendency toward self-sabotage. This is not a practice of succeeding. However, in this situation, the simple act of noticing your reluctance to expose yourself toward a better future is a step toward success — because it can and will motivate you to take a different approach than the one that leaves you in the same spot as before.
And small, reasonable steps are a good place for your success practice to start.
Still, cultivating a practice of succeeding may take some guidance. There are many facets that contribute to a productive success practice. And we must notice the signs of success in order to succeed.
First, we must come to understand our relationship between willpower, activity, and magnetism/attraction. These are the foundations of succeeding. We must know where we want to go before we can go there.
And we must take action in that direction to go there.
But this doesn’t mean it’s time to try to conquer the world. It means putting your energy into an activity, in the right direction for you, that is comfortably doable. Identify opportunities to volunteer, or ask your superior for more responsibility. Also, practice daily, reinforcing affirmations of the perspective you wish to possess: “I leave behind both my failures and accomplishments. What I do today will create a new and better future for me and those I love.”
Once you’ve begun a regular practice of purposeful action toward what’s import to you, be on the lookout for what you attract. These are the “wins,” however small, that we must notice and embrace — like the new, exciting idea that pops into your head or when a promising, unexpected opportunity is offered out of the blue.
Some of these wins may seem completely unrelated to our will, but if we are intentional and conscious we can often see their interrelatedness.
It’s fascinating — with how precious skiing, climbing, or mountain biking are to so many of us — and the practice we give those sports to become good at them — that we don’t typically consider practicing success.
But to make a better powder turn takes incremental steps toward improvement. It’s the same with success. To succeed, we practice succeeding.
~ Rich Breuner is a behavior analyst and therapist who practices in Truckee. He may be contacted through his website, newtrendaba.com
